‘Sprouty’“Where did you lose it?”
“I didn’t lose it she is very old and seems to have wandered off by mistake from my garden.”
“Oh well then (losing patience) where do you live.”
Address given.
“What does your dog look like?”
“A dog.”
“What colour?” (losing more patience)
“Brown with a grey muzzle.”
“Is it wearing a muzzle, what’s that?”
“It is part of its head. The front part where the teeth are.”
“It’s got a grey mouth then.”
“No. Muzzle is a word for the front part of a dogs head in front of the eyes.”
“Look here now. Please do not mess me around. Have you lost your dog or not.”
“Yes. I have been trying to tell you that for 5 minutes. It is not my fault that despite you working in the Dog Pound you do not know what a muzzle is.”
“All right then. Your particular dog has a muzzle.” (very resigned sigh) “Is it a male of female?”
“It is a bitch.”
“That may well be the case, but what sex is it.”
“I will describe her to you then.”
“Ok but please do not swear again or I shall put the phone down.”
“She is a red short haired Patterdale Terrier aged 17 and very frail like her owner.”
“Aren’t you the owner then, because the owner should report it missing?”
“I told you that I was, right at the beginning of our conversation.”
“How big is it?”
“Eighteen inches high and two foot six long from muzzle to tail.”
“What is that in metric please?”
“Don’t you use feet and inches?”
“No that is old fashioned we only use metric.”
“45 by 75 centimetres. Is that better?”
“Oh, God.” (now in desperation). “There is one like that that was found in Ca**l Hen**e.”
“That is where I live. Where is she now?”
“I can’t tell you that for security reasons.”
“How can I get her back then?”
“You have to pay £50, then I will give you a number and you can go and pick it up.”
“£50? I have not got £50.”
“You have to pay it or you will not get your dog back.”
“I won’t have that much until next week. Is there nothing else I can do?”
“No. You must pay for it or the price will go up.”
“Oh dear.”
“Well do you want to pay now or not?”
“I am disabled and rely on benefits to survive.”
“If you do not pay she may be found a new home.”
The caller becoming increasingly frustrated finished the call.
The following day the owner’s son went to Ammanford Council offices and paid the £50 fine. He was given a serial number and the location of the kennels where the dog had been placed. It was less than half a mile from where the dog went missing.
Hoping to admonish the kennels for not phoning up the number on the dogs collar disk the son was flabbergasted to discover that although securely attached via a drilled hole and key ring device that the disk was missing.
Many matters are raised here:
1. This story is true because I am the owner.
2. Is £50 a reasonable amount to pay for someone on limited income when I pay full Council Tax of nearly £1000 per year?
3. Is it right that I should pay £50 of publically funded benefits to get my dog back?
4. What sort of illiterate morons are we employing in specialist jobs?
5. Did someone not bother to check the presence of a dog tag before imprisoning the poor dog, and remove the evidence later causing me to lose £50 and my poor old dog to spend a lonely night in a cell.
6. This whole episode stinks of inefficiency and quite a lot of fascism because everyone spoken to adopted a superior attitude when in fact I am paying their wages and they should be subservient. In the nicest way of course.
7. Isn’t this just typical of the totalitarian country that we are fast becoming.