Labour announces new plans to aid whites
By Watling
In other news Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Harriet Harman, has announced an emergency package to help unemployed white British people find work. The fiercely patriotic MP for Camberwell and Peckham told us:
"For too long we have seen institutional racism within the public sector, resulting in black and minority ethnic people being over represented in, for example, the NHS, local government and the civil service."
She added:
"As a matter of priority we must reduce diversity in the workplace so that the ethnic profile of those in jobs more accurately reflects the population as a whole, whose overall ethnic profile, incidentally, we are striving to return to something similar to what it was pre-1960."
She went on to say:
"We in the Labour Party have a long-standing commitment to the indigenous people of Britain because it is they who have made this country what it is today. Mass immigration has been a massive mistake for which we're deeply sorry, but we are going to make amends, don't you worry about that. We're looking at putting a cap on ethnic minority numbers, with a view to gradually reducing them by kicking out illegal immigrants, bogus asylum seekers and foreign criminals."
Keith Vaz, MP for Leicester East, told us:
"I didn't come to Britain to promote multiculturalism and political correctness. I crave all things British and I don't mind admitting that my home is a shrine to the Carry On films. I just love their smutty, earthy style of humour. It's so typically British. That Kenneth Williams just cracks me up. 'Ooooh, matron!' Ha, ha.
"As for Frankie Howerd, now he's one of my heros. 'No ... don't titter. Nay, nay and thrice nay.'"
Dagenham MP Jon Cruddas is particularly vehement in his crusade to restore Britain to its former glory. The West Ham fan told us:
"You know, whenever I hear Churchill's wartime speech - We shall fight on the beaches - my eyes well up with pride. But of course, as well as Norse mythology and Old English, British military history is one of my hobbies. I can't get enough of it. And when I think about all these immigrants coming over here, turning our towns and cities into crime-ridden Third World ghettos and demanding benefits and free housing it fair makes my blood boil. Where were their grandfathers when mine was knee deep in mud on the Somme, eh?"
We tried to elicit the views of Diane Abbott MP concerning her party's plan to find jobs for white British people, but she was busy giving a lecture to schoolchildren in her Hackney constituency entitled Enoch Powell - the finest politician never to become PM.
