Say no to Korans in toilets

Please refrain from doing the above. Think of the sewer workers

I must apologise for a post yesterday in which I might have given the impression that it would be a fun thing to throw Korans down toilets. I had clearly not thought this through and I am grateful to A. Meba who has send me the following.

THIS HATE CRIME IS DAMAGING OUR COMMUNITY. SAY NO TO KORANS IN TOILETS!

I and other members of our diverse community wish to denounce in the strongest possible terms the current craze for flushing the Koran down the toilet, as started by a certain Mr Stanislav Shmulevich [see The Koran Complaint]

These Islamophobes think they are making a political or religious statement in sending this book into the sewers, but do they realise just what harm they're doing? Where do they think these soggy, smelly Korans go to? They don't just harmlessly disappear, I can tell you!

I am a member of a diverse community of single celled organisms who work in the activitated sludge at a sewage treatment plant. Our community is composed of bacteria, amoebae, Spirotrichs, Peritrichs, Vorticellids etc who were all working happily side by side to process human wastes and render them harmless, until all this Koran-flushing business started.

Between us, we microbes can biodegrade any normal pee or poo. But these Korans have got us beat. They are toxic supershiite. We've never seen crap like it, not even the stuff that comes out of the toilets in government offices.

What's worse is the danger of the development of militant cells. As you are no doubt all aware, if the Koran comes into contact with certain low and primitive life-forms it can turn them into virulent killers. I'm afraid this could happen to some members of our previously well-integrated microbial community. I and my fellow protozoans have got more sense than to be affected by this crap, but some of the previously harmless bacteria could turn pathogenic and escape from the sewage treatment plant to cause havoc. That's why flushing the koran is such a serious hate-crime.


So next time you're tempted to wipe your botty on Sura 5:33, spare a thought for all of us at the other end of the sewer. There are alternative environmentally acceptable ways to dispose of unwanted korans. Have you thought of using the pages as beer-mats, or as kitchen towels to absorb the excess fat from your fried bacon?

A. Meba


The British National Party believes in supporting all life forms including single cell ones. It just goes to show what good guys the BNP really are.

Tags: British National Party, BNP, Koran, toilet

Praise be to Allah who relieved me of the filth and gave me relief.

Unable to write, Mohammad found another way to express his views on Islam

Now I know, that we all know, that the moon bats, who are members of the Cult of the Dead Paedophile are completely bonkers after being brainwashed from birth. But to need instructions on how to wipe ones own botty reveals how far down the road to insanity they have traveled. Here are the rules they must abide by when using the toilet.

• Say before entering the toilet: In the name of Allah, O Allah! I seek refuge with You from all offensive and wicked things (Al-Bukhaaree)
• One should enter the toilet with the left foot and leave with the right foot.
• It is not permissible to enter the toilet whilst carrying or wearing anything bearing the name of Allah, such as the Quran, or any book with the name of Allah in it, or jewelry such as bracelets or necklaces engraved with the name of Allah.
• One should remain silent whilst on the toilet. Talking, answering greetings or greeting others is forbidden.[2]
• One should not face nor turn your back on Al-Qiblah whilst relieving yourself.[3]
• One should be out of sight of people when going to the toilet
• It is considered forbidden to relieve oneself whilst standing up, lying down or if you are completely nude.
• One should avoid going to the toilet anywhere where people may take rest or gather for any purpose.
• Do not raise clothes until you get close to the ground and do not uncover the body any more than is needed.
• One should sit on the feet (e.g. squat) keeping thighs wide apart with the stress on the left foot.
• Do not look to the private parts of the body nor the waste matter passed from the body.
• Do not sit more than needed.
• Do not spit, blow nose, look hither and thither, touch the body unnecessarily nor look towards the sky but relieve oneself with the eyes downcast in modesty.
  

If you have a sturdy stomach, then you can read the exact details of which fingers to use whilst cleaning up afterwards here. The Welsh are reminded that using coal to wipe with, is completely unacceptable. You think I am joking? I wish I was.

So if you cannot use coal to wipe with, what can you use? Well in America, unless you want to be arrested for an Hate Crime you most certainly do not use the Quran as this will get you locked up quicker than something that is really quick.


In New York, a 23 year old man has been arrested on hate-crime charges after he threw a Quran into a toilet at Pace University. One wonders how long before similar charges are brought against people in what used to be Great Britain?

But let us hope that the True Brits in Our Country are not the type of people to go out and buy a Quran with nice soft paper pages and start using them as toilet paper or worse leaving ripped up pages of this Cults terrorist manual in public places all over the country.

For people with a desire for real hygiene, then you need BNP. The BNP is the only known cleaning material that works in removing filth. Join the clean up. Join the British National Party.

Hat Tip Little Green Footballs

Tags: British National Party, BNP, toilet, Quran