Have I Got News for you Alan Duncan MP

The real Lib/Lab/con Alliance
(From left to right) Gay MPs Alan Duncan (Con), David Borrow (Lab),
Chris Bryant (Lab) and Stephen Williams (Lib Dem).

I do not normally watch Have I got News for You, as I know that the quick one liners are often added after the show. I also find Paul Merton and Ian Hislop a little bit too smug and self satisfied for my taste.

But last night, when I saw that Alan Duncan MP, the openly homosexual, Shadow Leader of the House of Commons was one of the guests, then I knew I would have to put aside my prejudices (against Paul and Ian, not homosexuals) and watch it. Duncan, by the way, also believes that all drugs should be legalised. Especially GHB, I suppose.

Because Hislop, when on form, is an expert at sliding a stiletto into the ribs of his victims, so that they have been terminally wounded, without sometimes even knowing it.

And given that the news these days is a never ending stream of sleaze about the corruption of Members of Parliament, then the odds were odds on, that this would be the main thrust of the show, that sometimes does have its moments.

And I was right. Now for those of you did watch, the show, you already know what kind of sleek, oily, permatanned man(?) Alan Duncan is. His whole appearance radiates his corrupt perverted inner self.

Now if you have the chance, either now or later, I would recommend that you watch this show in full, here on the BBC site whilst you can, because I believe that Alan Duncan is a classic example of the kind of people we now have selling us out in Parliament. A man who is as unashamed about his corruption as he is about his homosexuality.

Now I was going to leave it at that and move on but if you have the time for more, so do I. I am going to watch the show again and give those of you who have not seen it some highlights and time-starts for video skippers.

At 3.55 mins in Hislop goes to work. Asking Duncan how many homes he owns and does he claims the second home allowance.

Duncan comes back with some gay joke but that ploy will not work with Hislop. He presses his attack and it is a pleasure to see Duncans face change colour.

Finally he admits he does claim for two but actually owns three homes. Most MPs do these days. No wonder there are house shortages.

Another homosexual joke from Duncan about his personal reputation (yuk one dreads to think) and we move on again.

Now remember, Duncan is a man who aspires to be the next Leader of the House and in my opinion should retain a sense of proprietary and making jokes about how much MPs steal from the public is not funny at all, to those who pay for his coiffed hair style and permatan.

His solution to the problem of corruption, is for more noughts to be added to MPs salaries. By now I want to cover him in vomit. He really does make me feel sick.

Comparing the state of our sad country to Zimbabwe, he says that a conservative government hopes to be less corrupt. Hopes to be less corrupt?

Next we have some quite humorous clips of Gordon Brown, whilst we wait for Duncan to put his foot, complete with manicured and probably painted toenails back into his mouth.

But before we come back to Duncan there is a superb clip at 8.00 minutes, of Eric Pickles MP being questioned on another show. Attempting to justify his 2nd home allowance claim, despite living less than 40 miles from Parliament, he says he needs a second home because he has to be in parliament at a certain time. As the interviewer says. "Like a job". Classic.

So fast forward to 16 minutes in. Nothing much really. Some jokes about "arses", and "fairies" and a nice shot of Duncan being girly but nothing much. Why TV people like to use words like "arse" is beyond me but I am from a different time.

Now I am just waiting for the final minutes of the show. Then I can wrap this up and go see what is happening in the real world. Dum de dum, twiddle twiddle fingers.

Here we go at 23:45. Off Duncan goes, in the fill in the missing words round.

"Silly Bitch" he says on hearing that Miss California thinks that same sex marriages are wrong. He then says that if Miss California is murdered it will be him who did it. Now this is the man who wants to be Home Secretary, saying that those who disagree with him should die. How how earth can people vote for this pimp and parasite? Today no doubt he will brush that statement off, saying it was just a joke?

If it is acceptable to joke about murdering beauty queens, then is it OK to joke about murdering MPs, moslems or homosexuals? No. Did not think so.

Well that is about it. Apart from some funny quips about Nazi Cattle. Now this story is quite interesting as I discovered for myself and so perhaps it is good that I watched the show.

Advanced genetics in the late 30's? What the article does not say, is that herds of these cattle were destroyed because they were seen to be a symbol of wartime Germany.

I suppose the Germans would have done the same had they won and would have shot all the British Bulldogs, just as the government are trying to do today in their endless attacks on the British National Party. (I was wondering how I was going to work that in.)

Seriously guys. If you get time, watch the linked show.

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