Ken Livingstone's move to Tower Hamlets

Ken attempts to woo the gay blue vote during house move

News just coming to hand but not yet confirmed is that Mr. Kenneth Livingstone, Mayor of London has announced he is moving with his wife and family to a third floor flat in a council block in Tower Hamlets.When asked what prompted this decision to leave his smallholding in the Bucks countryside for an depressed inner London suburb he is reportedly to have said I think it is hypocritical of me not to make this move at this time seeing I represent the face of Multi Culti in London and have almost single handedly changed the face of our capital city.

He was quoted as saying “It was only through my efforts and my efforts alone that London can now boast four of its London boroughs having the good fortune of being predominately black, and by the year 2015 it has been forecast that through my continued efforts at least a further 7 London boroughs will be completely black”

It will of course be a major upheaval for his wife and family but he assured reporters that his good fortune was only realized due to the misfortune of others when a flat had recently become vacant after a Nigerian family of ten were found to be illegal refugees and who were receiving child benefits, were arrested and deported.

Asked if he had seen the three bed roomed flat Mr. Livingstone replied he had, and was delighted with disguised suppressed excitement to be moving in next to a Congolese family of six on one side and a Eritrean family of eight on the other.

He added that extensive repairs had been recently carried out due a major fire in the kitchen as a result of the previous family leaving bush meat cooking on the stove and then carelessly going to the cinema. Reports by the police said the illegal bush meat was in fact a Gorillas head. He added repairs including the replacement of all the windows had also been made to the flat and that the front room had been re-wallpapered and front door replaced.

Asked where he hoped to park his new Mercedes, bearing in mind the rash of car stealing in the area, he said he was hoping to leave it at 'his sister’s place' and ring for a government car when required.

When asked what his family thought of the move he replied “I myself have to struggle on £137,500 a year and I feel in my capacity as Lord Mayor human compassion demands I should experience the same difficulties my constituents have to face day in day out. My family is not enamored or opposed to the move but I have heard them questioning my sanity............... behind my back”

He continued stating he hoped to serve at least another two terms with the help of the support of the trade unions, particularly the N.U.J, the Gay lobby, the small splinter Communist groups and of course the black vote.

Ask if his farm will remain vacant while living in Tower Hamlets he said he had instructed the British Council of Refugees to allow 25 North Africans that fled Morocco on a leaky boat to be temporally housed on his property. He said it is quite disgusting and discriminatory that they have been waiting patiently for social housing, benefits and employment for over two weeks now.

They were welcomed as political asylum seekers after fleeing the war torn Canary Islands.

Mr. Livingstone, who was visibly upset and near to tears, said the unspoken tragedy here is that a six year old boy and 20 of the men, including a 95 year old man on crutches admitted they were gay and were in fear of their lives if they were forcibly returned to their own country.

He added it was a sad indictment of the selfishness of the western nations and particularly this country that does not totally open its borders to all the human Flotsam and Jetsam of the world.

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The above article was written by Albion. A regular columnist with his own area on the ever growing, Green Arrow Forum. Why not check out other articles by some of the great columnists now writing there.

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