Nick Clegg - Coming to a door near you. So he says.

"Make It Happen" ... Don't make me laugh.
This man couldn't make a skin happen on top of a rice pudding.

by john of gwent

Is it election time again already ? It must be. Because the guy who recently took over from the boring old fart who in turn took over from the endearing jolly chap who was just a little too fond of the sauce who in turn took the reins from a former marine who I believe has spoke more sense on military matters more authoritatively than any of our Prime Ministers, including *HER*, since Winston Churchill, has decided it's time to raise his profile. By knocking on a million doors.

Well be honest now their profile couldn't be much lower, could it. I mean, in the city (City? Now there's a larf - shithole, more like) of Newport, split down the middle as far as the local council goes, they couldn't be arsed to whistle up anyone to bang on the doors of the electorate, and have not done so for almost a decade.

But what, pray, are they going to tell us as they stand there shivering in the strange combination of floodwater, hurricane and monsoon that has so uniquely marked out the British Summer of 2008 ?

Are they going to suggest they are beating the crap out of New Labour and deserve a pat on the back for it ? If so then perhaps they need to be reminded that Labour are making a habit of getting less votes than the British National Party in parliamentary by-elections these days.

Are they going to suggest they have gone back to their constituencies and prepared for government ? If so, perhaps you should ask them to pop over to their own website, click the bit labelled "I am a supporter" and try and find out a bit about the strangely named "Liberty Network" which seems to be parked in mid-air on the domain of a guy presumably paid to develop a website, who hasn't bothered getting round to it (!)

So when Nick and his Merrie Men thump your door knocker, here's a couple of questions you might like to ask them. Why for example are they not trumpeting Nicky Boy's decision to appoint some special personal advisers to help him steer a politically correct course with Black and Minority Ethnic Issues. Because they seem rather tight lipped despite the Manchester Asian news trumpeting this gloriously "pro non-white" waste of money.

But while they're on the doorstep, why not test their "green" credentials. Ask them how much it cost to tax whatever they drove to get to your door,. Ask if they get that back from party funds. Ask them why they didn't turn up on a pushbike - the only form of transport anyone other than an MP can afford to run these days.

Then, when they start to take the bait, ask about their stance on law and order.

Then ask whether they think MP's are in the business of making the law, or breaking it ?