Thursday, 18 June 2009

Peter Hain's Latest Moneyspinner

(click for larger image)
by johnofgwent

Ladies and gentlemen, I present for your enjoyment, Peter Hain's latest wizard wheeze to restore the coins in Gordon Brown's kitty.

One of the last things Peter organised before being chucked out of the Welsh Office for not declaring the £103,000 donation funding his abortive coup attempt was to arrange for every motorist in the former county of Monmouthshire to die of boredom.

He needed a wizard wheeze to that when he opened his brainchild TOLL MOTORWAY south of newport, motorists would queue up in their thousands to pay to use it and kiss his fragrant arse to boot. So he ordered that an eight mile stretch of the M4 be reduced to 40mph forever so that when the new road opened we would be so grateful for an alternative to the drudge, we would re-elect him with open arms.

Of course, the problem is, the Assembly Government threw out his wizard scheme for a toll road a month or so back for three reasons. Firstly the cost had spiralled out of all proportion as always happens with government projects, second there was no money to pay for it in the credit-crunched times, and third and most obvious of all with no buinesses surviving in Gordon Brown's Britain no-one would be there to pay the damn tolls to use the new road .

So the M4 Southern Link Road has gone the same way as Tony Blair's plans to master the Universe.

But as a means to spite those who voted against him, Hain has steamrollered his battle plan to bore us to tears back onto the agenda. Twelve miles of the M4 now grinds under a pointless 24 hour 50mph speed limit. And just to make sure you stay under Peter's thumb, he's having new sp[eed cameras installed. Here's a picture of the one at Junction 27 westbound.

It's an AVERAGE SPEED CAMERA NUMBER PLATE READER. There is one just like it on the scrubland on the right halfway down the westbound exit at Tredegar Park J28, and another at the bottom of the exit slip after the tunnels westbound at J26 onto Malpas road. And no doubt there will be others.

They send the time you pass them on the road network onto a database, and then the next one writes up the time you pass it ad decides whether you deserve a ticket. But whereas with the ordinary GATSO the law abiding man is ignored, these buggers produce a permanent record of your having been on the road.

How long before they have these on the M1 to tell the UAF the numberplates of everyone attending Red, White And Blue ? Guess what, they're alrady there.

Now last night I had an interesting conversation. There are some fools out there, and some BNP members too, who think the law requires these bastard assistants of the 1984 state to be painted bright yellow and have ample warning or they cannot harm you.


The truth is that the Safety SCAMera Partnership Agreement that allows money from the fines collected to be handed out to have more of these one arm bandits built requires they be highly visible. If they are not then all monies raised by them stays with the treasury.

And lo and behold, these are grey and black, and have no signage. Alistair Darling must be kissing Hains Arse right now across the Cabinet Room Table for finding such a neat way to keep his budget afloat.