Saturday, 7 February 2009

Loan me a tenner and I'll pay you back that fiver I owe you.

Gordon Brown has condemned our great great grandchildren to this

by johnofgwent

Once again my curse of being unable to sleep at nights (you try being chucked on the dole for christmas and see how long it takes you to get back to normal even after you get another job) has turned out to have an up-side.

A fellow "ukdebater" has picked up on the next phase of Gordon Brown's "Get Well PLEASE Oh My God There Is An Election Coming Soon For Gods Sake BREATHE Damn You" plan for the British Economy.

And a madcap scheme it is, too. Here's how it works.

Say I want to raise some money quickly. How do I do it. Well one way is to ring up my mate and say "Hey how about I write out this I.O.U promising to pay you a grand in nine months time. Now then, how much will you give me for this I.O.U"?

Yes it sounds like a crazy strategy but believe it or not that's how banks and big business have done things for quite a while. They issue "unsecured promissory notes" otherwise known as "commercial paper" and normally it works quite well because what the bank actually says is "we propose making a killing by indulging in such and such a scam conning such and such a group of punters but in order to do so we need to raise such and such an amount of readies in untraceable small denomination bills so you tell me shat sort of rake-off you want to divvy yourself into this wheeze, hand over the entry fee to join my wizard scheme and I'll write you this I.O.U for the amount you'll get when we've finished fleecing the punters and milked 'em dry"

And while the banks were indulging in things that made what ENRON did look tame, and getting away with it, everyone won. Except the poor bloody punter of course.

But these days when joe banker taps his good friend on the shoulder and asks "what will you pay me today for this I.O.U for a million bucks payable in nine months time" the answer is "roughly half the amount you paid to the bloke who sold you the biro you wrote the I.O.U with".

And that ladies and gentlemen is why we have a credit crunch. And now Gordon is preparing to allow the Bank of England to indulge in this as part of a range of things called "quantitative easing". That's an interesting term, isn't it. One that brings to mind a range of interesting practices performed with the aid if ingeniously designed implements, most of which have their proper place in the maternity or casualty department.

Now last night there were a few news sites reporting this but here is the one that started the discussion. It was, at three o clock this morning, the only one I found which put numbers to the sise of the plan. Guess how much Gordon is going to pump into this madcap idea ? Fifty Billion Quid.

Fifty Billion Quid.

That's enough to give away a free Bentley to everyone with a ticket for any of the six nations matches in the Wales Millennium Stadium this year.


ProudGeordie said...

Or a free VW Lupo for everyone over 30 with a driving license?

Or enough to buy a large chunk of the populations debt to call off the bailiffs?

If these bailouts were about the people that's what they would do. The bailouts are about the collapse of democracy and the start of the New World Order, the "post-democratic era". With the billions in bailouts then the Quantative Easing they could have bought every house from every person made redundant and rented it back to them. They could have ignored the bankers folly and bought our possesions for us thus keeping us free and the banks solvent. The problem is we would be free, and that just will not do.

Anonymous said...

UFO spotted opposite Parliament...

If they're looking for evidence of intelligent life on Earth, they're going to be dissappointed.