Thursday, 13 August 2009

Do not forget NOT to wash if going to RWB on UAF coach

One of these BNP activists was "caught out" last year.
Can you see why? Yes, it was the tie and the watch.
Clear indication of a degree of intelligence
in able to tie knot and tell time.

Right, I know some of you get a great kick out of travelling up to the RWB on the UAF trade union funded coaches and I know that the information you gain is good stuff but this year you have to be a little bit more careful.

And as you already know, the trade unions are throwing away a considerable sum of their members money by sending 42 coaches (not the 60 they say) up this year. As usual most will be empty like last year other than for the paid trade union activists and SWP members who have to attend or face a slap off Draylon Bonnet.

Now some of you made the mistake last year of bathing the night before and some of the older male BNP members shaved in the morning before leaving and as a result faced awkward questioning on the coach. These are stupid mistakes so think first please.

If questioned on the coach have your answers already prepared. You know nothing about politics but student/union rep said it would be a good day out and it would give you a chance to see Codnor.

If you have hand luggage with clean clothes in say that you understand there is a charity shop in the town and they are for donation.

If really stuck say "Sorry man - I just scored and it is good shit brother". The occasional "Right on" never fails, so use liberally.

Show your street cred and say that Red Leb is better than Black Moroccan as the poor buggers who make it have to put melted car tyres in to make any money.

If asked if you would like a "line" then refuse straight away and call the coach steward. Real UAF supporters just do not do cocaine - that is for filthy capitalists. You only do speed or brown if asked.

Carry a bottle of white lightening cider (tip 50% out before leaving) this will show you are a REAL red. Also carry a tobacco tin with some used drug syringes in to show you care about the environment. If possible try to show off a tobacco tin with a Marijuana plant on the cover.

Try not to stare at some of the others on the coach no matter what their appearance. 16 stone men with 2 day beard stubble and wearing a short skirt is not unnatural to these people. If these men are crying over a run in their stocking do not laugh at them but say you "feel their pain".

Now they will be on the look out for BNP members having fun with them, so when boarding the coach, attempt to walk like a zombie from Shaun of the Dead and pretend you are deaf.

If someone says "Good Luck today Sir. Hope you have a pleasant Journey", ignore them and get on the coach. Do NOT reply "Why thank you. I wish you also a pleasant journey", otherwise you will be toast and wind up having to pay your own fair to the RWB.

If you are sure you are being watched - immediately denounce the watchers as being "Nazis" or "Racists". Tell a coach steward that you heard them saying that Searchlight had the right idea and that the UAF were really faggots with no balls for street activity.

Now let's practise getting on the coach.

"Have a nice journey Sir".

"Feck Off".

Good you are learning. See you on the coach.


Just had a call from Patriot Products, whose stall will in the BNP Wales Marquee, they are sorry but will not now be selling the self inflating Dreylon Bonnet blow up dolls as advertised.

Apparently the dolls were so lifelike that their egos inflated beyond safety limits, causing the body to swell up to the size of a Barnes Wallis Bouncing Bomb.

Also, female UAF members who do infiltrate the RWB family festival, will not be permitted to enter the dog show after the lesbian Denise Fatthighs was disqualified last year, after winning the Butt Ugly Dog of the Show award.

Answering Yes to the Question: "Are you a real Dog?", whilst true, is not in the spirit of the competition.