Sunday, 29 July 2007

Praise be to Allah who relieved me of the filth and gave me relief.

Unable to write, Mohammad found another way to express his views on Islam

Now I know, that we all know, that the moon bats, who are members of the Cult of the Dead Paedophile are completely bonkers after being brainwashed from birth. But to need instructions on how to wipe ones own botty reveals how far down the road to insanity they have traveled. Here are the rules they must abide by when using the toilet.

  • Say before entering the toilet: In the name of Allah, O Allah! I seek refuge with You from all offensive and wicked things (Al-Bukhaaree)
  • One should enter the toilet with the left foot and leave with the right foot.
  • It is not permissible to enter the toilet whilst carrying or wearing anything bearing the name of Allah, such as the Quran, or any book with the name of Allah in it, or jewelry such as bracelets or necklaces engraved with the name of Allah.
  • One should remain silent whilst on the toilet. Talking, answering greetings or greeting others is forbidden.[2]
  • One should not face nor turn your back on Al-Qiblah whilst relieving yourself.[3]
  • One should be out of sight of people when going to the toilet
  • It is considered forbidden to relieve oneself whilst standing up, lying down or if you are completely nude.
  • One should avoid going to the toilet anywhere where people may take rest or gather for any purpose.
  • Do not raise clothes until you get close to the ground and do not uncover the body any more than is needed.
  • One should sit on the feet (e.g. squat) keeping thighs wide apart with the stress on the left foot.
  • Do not look to the private parts of the body nor the waste matter passed from the body.
  • Do not sit more than needed.
  • Do not spit, blow nose, look hither and thither, touch the body unnecessarily nor look towards the sky but relieve oneself with the eyes downcast in modesty.
If you have a sturdy stomach, then you can read the exact details of which fingers to use whilst cleaning up afterwards here. The Welsh are reminded that using coal to wipe with, is completely unacceptable. You think I am joking? I wish I was.

So if you cannot use coal to wipe with, what can you use? Well in America, unless you want to be arrested for an Hate Crime you most certainly do not use the Quran as this will get you locked up quicker than something that is really quick.


In New York, a 23 year old man has been arrested on hate-crime charges after he threw a Quran into a toilet at Pace University. One wonders how long before similar charges are brought against people in what used to be Great Britain?

But let us hope that the True Brits in Our Country are not the type of people to go out and buy a Quran with nice soft paper pages and start using them as toilet paper or worse leaving ripped up pages of this Cults terrorist manual in public places all over the country.

For people with a desire for real hygiene, then you need BNP. The BNP is the only known cleaning material that works in removing filth. Join the clean up. Join the British National Party.

Hat Tip Little Green Footballs

13 comments:

Celtic Morning said...

GA.We are into a bit of crudity now so there's no avoiding it. If you are right handed,have you ever tried wiping your arse with the left? Its very difficult and I know because I was once bitten on the thumb of my right hand by a fox and the hand was so swollen and painful for a week that I couldnt use it.I am ex Rhondda and as a lad we often got taken short while playing on the mountain but I never knew anyone use coal!Preferred item was a couple of doc leaves or a handful of soft grass !!Another thing,in Iraq fifty years ago it was common to see labourers walking along,lift up their galibeers,squat down and crap at roadside then carry on walking with no sign of an arse wipe.They would sometimes wash in the irrigation ditches when the water from the Euphrates was allowed to flow through the sluice gates.They carried a stick over the shoulder with a large chipattee wrapped in a red rag,on the end,just like the kids comics used to show tramps in the old days. They would break off bits of the chippattee to eat as the day went on. Dont know if my spelling is correct for chipattee,or for galibeer (the long white cotton robe,like a nightgown) which is what they wore.There was no religious trouble at that time and it was quite safe to visit Baghdad and Basra etc.though tours of duty were only for one year due to the hot weather.Where I was stationed,summer temp used to reach 120 degrees but it was worse in the gulf due to humidity.I pity the troops on duty in full combat gear,poor buggers, we wore just light shorts and shirts. It was essential to keep the bowels open but I never saw any arabs standing on ceremony, they just shit and go.I could imagine a prayer being said if one suffered from severe constipation- by the sufferer and by anyone close by when the offending motion was eventually passed. I write this long after having had my breakfast.

The Green Arrow said...

Good morning Celtic. An interesting life you have led. Your right about the doc leaves though. Rightly or wrongly we also crushed them up and rub them on the stings from nettles that children will always manage to fall into.

Back in our time overseas, the religious fanatics were only just beginning to enforce the Paedophiles teachings. My memories of sailing through the Suez Canal were of old men gripping the hands of their young boys whilst watching us sail by.

Sorry if I spoiled your breakfast. Be warned in advance that I am planning on writing about homosexual practices.

British National Party member said...

do you want to see a koran get - not so subtly altered?

Here you go;

Explosions, wee and machine guns YEAH!

Team infidel!

He got a proper fatwa for it too.

najistani said...

You couldn't make this stuff up.

Check out the symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder resulting from brain damage caused by successive generations of cousin marriage at http://www.al-islam.org/laws/najisthings.html

In particular

141. If a page from the holy Qur'an, or any sacred object like a paper on which the names of Almighty Allah or the Holy Prophet or the holy Imams are written, falls in a lavatory, it is obligatory to take it out and make it Pak with water, no matter what expenses it may entail. And, if it is not possible to take it out, the use of that lavatory should be discontinued till such time when one is certain that the page has dissolved and petered out. Similarly, if Turbatul Husayn (the sacred earth of Karbala, usually formed into a tablets to place one's forehead on, while offering prayers) falls into lavatory, and it is not possible to take it out, the lavatory should not be used until one becomes sure that it (Turbatul Husayn) has ceased to exist, and no tra ce of it is present there.

So next time you need to use a loo in an infested area, put a page of the koran down, relieve yourself but don't flush. If the next user is a member of RoP he/she will have to grovel in the loo to retrieve it.

BTW Pak = pure, as in Pakistan - the 'Land of the Pure' and Najis = filthy, as in 'Najis Kaffirs', as our multiculti friends call us.

najistani said...

From the same source of wisdom at page http://www.al-islam.org/laws/marriage1.html , here are the rules for shagging little boys. For example, if you have sex with your financee's kid brother, you won't be able to marry her or screw your prospective mother-in-law.

2414. * If a baligh person commits sodomy with a boy , the mother, sister and daughter of the boy become haraam for him. And the same law applies when the person on whom sodomy is committed is an adult male, or when the person committing sodomy is na-baligh. But if one suspects or doubts whether penetration occurred or not, then the said woman would not become haraam.

Baligh = sexually mature
haraam = forbidden.

Allah Akhbar!!!

najistani said...

MORE NONCENSE
Further comments on above at http://cartoonazi.blogspot.com/2006/09/islamic-joys-of-pedophelia.html

2415. If a person marries the mother or sister of a boy, and commits sodomy with the boy after the marriage, as a precaution, they will become haraam [forbidden] for him."

This states quite clearly that if a man f***s a boy, he loses the right to f*** the boy’s mother and sisters. This applies even if the man is already married to the boy’s mother or sister or both. (that’s how the word “daughter” creeps into this demented prescription).

Islam views homosexual acts as abominations punishable by death only if , it seems, consenting adults are involved. The rape of children, incredibly, is permitted.

Also, the above law provides the Islamic child molester with a loop-hole of sorts: he is still free to f*** the boy’s grandmother.

Nice huh? Lovely religion, what?

Anonymous said...

Hi Green I was looking at your yet again wonderful post, and this bit got me wondering.

"One should avoid going to the toilet anywhere where people may take rest or gather for any purpose"

What if we legalise cottaging for Gays, that would mean no Mudslimes could ever use a public Bog, just think no more Mudslime days at Alton Tower's No mudslimes hanging around shopping Malls. Perhap's they would be forced to hold in their shit for so long their bowel's will explode.

Least I know why flies follow Mudslimes around, shit stinking bastard's they are.

WED

Barnsley Nationalist said...

If you had told me that over a pint, I would have sent for the Green Bus.. LOL I'm Linking this.

Ernesto Ribeiro said...

HA! HA! HA! HA! PERFECT!!!...

That's the Islamic way of "thinking", "reading" and "writing"...

Your site is one of the finest, GA. In humour, it's the best.


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Felicity said...

Gosh Najistani, the rules are strict!
Makes you wonder why Blair, cameron and Co want to be so close to such a religion?
Do you think they also harbour these strange urges?
When the roP takeover Britain who will we have left to have sex with............outside the immediate family I mean?

Anonymous said...

I am a Muslim and I have never offended Christianity,Jewish and other religious things in my life. Because I (and all Muslims) respect to other religious views. But you... You have offended our holy book and prophet. If you dont like Muslims and Prophet Mohammed, it is okay. But rejecting this religion doesnt give you a right to offend it and us.

The Green Arrow said...

Moslem.

Your cult has murdered its way across the face of the world and because of the medieval mindset of its followers it can never evolve into a true religion. All it brings is death and destruction and the hand wringing by people like you will never be accepted. The murders, beheadings, stonings,forced marriages, paedophilia of your cult all offend me. You offend me.

Genie said...

a bit crude. but have have you considered the mysteries of islam?
as in a wife of the prophet mohammed Ayesha, aka Aisha, ayshar etc.
of importance good brit, is the question of her lost necklace, alleged adultery, and ali given the heireditary sword of mohammed to keep him quiet over the incident! (shia hadith, ie the sunni-moslems dont want to know. by the way, moslem is the traditional saudi spelling, so the only reason the urdu pak are upset is that it is not muslim the more urdu-hindi form! amazing!