"Would You Open Fire On Your Own People"

If this lot came upon armed rioters in the next street ...
...who would they shoot first ?

By johnofgwent. Hat tip to the wigan patriot

Norman Tebbit is famous for more that one soundbite. The one he will probably have carved on his tombstone is that he, like his father before him, has finally "got on his bike" to seek a better life elsewhere. But the one I shall remember him for was his unwaranted attack upon a game played by gentlemen (and occasionally by the odd ball tamperer). To quote from his wikipedia entry (well, the version in place today, at least).

In April 1990 he proposed the "Cricket test", also known as the "Tebbit Test", where he argued that whether people from ethnic minorities in Britain supported the England Cricket team (rather than the team from their country of origin) should be considered a barometer - but not the sole indicator - of whether that are truly British

As one who has, in my past, stood at one end of "four poles length of close cropped english greenery" with nothing but a stout piece of willow to defend my own honour and that of my ten fellow combatants against the worst our opponents can hurl at me, I say "The Honourable Lord Tebbit" as he is now styled does the players and supporters of that particularly sporting game a grave disservice and slanderous injury.

For when I stood at the crease and six foot three of solid muscle, black as the ace of spades and whose parents were amongst the first to step off the gangplank of the "Windrush", began his run towards the other end, and let fly a small red misssile straight at my middle stump with frightening velocity, I rose to the challenge and like Sir Garfield Sobers whacked the ball straight over the boundary. As I did, he was the first to applaud. He aplauded again when the second ball of his over went the same way. And he paced out a slightly longer run-in for his third, which would be my nemesis.

His third ball came on terrifyingly fast with a wicked curve. I never saw its trajectory properly and it would be almost five years before I would witness Michael Holding using the very same technique to devastating effect in a test match. Only then did I understand the reason for my demise at the crease. At the time, all I saw was a flurry of reddish blur and all I heard was the tiniest click of wood upon wood, that sounded to me as clear as if a thunderstorm from nowhere on a perfect late summer afternoon in deepest buckinghamshire.

I did not wait for the yell of triumph or the signal from the umpire. I did not need to. I knew the game was up. The pavilion was at the far end of the pitch, and I began the long walk to my tea and cucumber sandwiches, to applause coming from those on and off the field. But the loudest applause was when I stopped at the far end to shake my rival's hand for a delivery executed to perfection.

No, Lord Tebbit, you did the game played by english gentlemen against other gentlemen of the same standing the world over a grave disservice when you made your cheap remark. Those who take the field in white to carry on the eternal battle of willow versus leather know the difference between rivalry and riot. As do their supporters in the ground and around the world. It is those who would denounce the spirit of fairness upon which that game is modelled that you should have aimed your bile.

For the true "Tebbit Test" is needed now more than ever.

A few days ago I roundly condemned Jacqui Smith on this blog and collected five minutes of fame courtesy of UK Tabloid for my insight into the background of some of her more unworkable ideas designed to pacify the increasingly vociferous and disgruntled "vox pop" that have seen the policies of her party for what they are. The Deputy Leader of the rabble he calls His Party goes on a major weekend political discussion proramme and rants that just because a court of law says it's legal doesn't mean we're not going to find a way to prise the pension out of the ex RBS chief's cold dead hand. A stance that has her fellow cabinet ministers scuttling for a foxhole thaty provides cover against the incoming declarations of incredulity and demands for clarification, and causes the woman in question to go suddenly, and uncharacteristically, quiet.

Gordon Brown takes refuge while the rest of the cabinet conclude their discussions regarding the merit of his laissez-faire policy towards bankers benefit packages.

Gordon Brown is not a stupid man. He knows the game is up and soon he will have to find another job. That's why he has shown such remarkably little interest in curtailing the "fill yer boots" mentality of the board level directors who will be inviting him to join the table as a consultant in about a year's time. Hence his irritation at the clamour for him to do something. And also the reason for the eagerness of his Deputy to sieze the moment to stab him in the back for she sees the opportunity to sieze the reins in the forlorn hope that it will make a diference to their ultimate doom.

And that's before I get to Jack Straw the "Other Half A Home Secretary" stepping in to censor the legally approved distribution of cabinet minutes from the days whenthey were discussing Blair's illegal military belligerence in the sandy wasteland that was once the Garden of Eden and home to one of the Seven Wonders Of The World.

But meanwhile, The Community Cohesion Committee (Six New Liebour, Three Tory, Two Lib Dem and not a single patriot amongst them) seem to be clearly worried that there is now a need for a revised Tebbit Test. And worryingly, according to the Wigan Patriot it seems that preparations are already being made by Gordon Brown and his multicultural cronies to spill more english blood, but this time on the streets of our country, not in some faraway desert.

In a stunning conversation with a friend, who is a serving member of the Armed Forces, over the weekend, it was revealed that transfers to regiments and other units in the UK on home duties are being undertaken by the MOD based upon whether an individual was prepared to 'open fire' on UK citizens during civil disturbances.

I found this long and extracted conversation to be both bizarre and frightening. I will state at this point that he is someone that I have known for years, and trust implicitly. The fact that service personnel are actually being asked in special briefing sessions whether they would fire on their own nationals indicates that the rumours about the Army being put on standby are indeed very true.

It would seemthat we live in "interesting times".